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Location: Longview, Washington, United States

I live in a small town in Washington State, USA, with my wife, two sons, two dogs, a cat, and family nearby. I work at the local community college as an I.T. Specialist. In March of '02, we bought a 70-some year old house that needed a lot of work. When I'm not working on the house, I like to throw pots, be outside, and read a lot.

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Saturday, June 25, 2005

What They Mean When They Say...

When you're a guy in your thirties and your wife goes away for 15 or 20 days and takes the baby, people who know this to be the case tend to flit their eyebrows at you suggestively as they says things like, "Don't have too much fun, now!" or "Try to stay out of trouble, you hear?"

I'm not sure what they mean. Do they mean I should stay out of the bars and away from casinos? Is it the helpless guy thing, like I'm suddenly going to forget how to cook or run the washing machine? Probably they are mostly cautioning me not to spend too much time sitting around the house in my boxers, eating Doritos.

The ones who really know me should say things like, "Scott, at all costs, stay away from the hardware stores." Today I went into Ace to get two dollars worth of L brackets for the fence project. A girl standing just inside the door handed me a grocery sized paper bag and sweetly told me that everything I could fit into the bag would be 20% off. This is a little like Vegas sending a limo to the homes of problem gamblers. Less than 15 minutes later I was checking out, having saved almost twenty bucks. I got my L brackets, a respirator to wear when refinishing the upstairs so I can hopefully avoid the sinus infection from hell that I got while doing the downstairs, and a couple of other nifty things I just had to have like a contour gauge and a line level.

Several times now I have hired contractors who have somehow cut a board on one side so that it marries up with an uneven surface. How did they do that? I have wondered about it while driving and while lying in my bed late at night. Now I know, they use a contour gauge (duh!). As always there was a ton of stuff in there I just had to have. Maybe tomorrow, if I'm feeling low, I'll go get the sliding angle bevel I could use upstairs. Its only two-fifty and I really need it.

posted by Scott in Washington at 6:27 PM |

4 comment(s):

  • Maybe they mean...Wow my wife would never leave me alone because last time she did I lost hte house ina poker game and then I spent three days looking for my kids who had gone to live with my mother....and the dogs...i think maybe I sold them...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/25/2005 07:36:00 PM  

  • I remember when our Ace had that sale. I was in there 2 days in a row. I thought about projects 6 months out and stocked up. I live for 20% off at a hardware store.

    By Blogger Greg, at 6/25/2005 08:02:00 PM  

  • you can do the same thing with two pencils tied at a 90 degree angle to each other. One pencil (eraser side out) goes against the uneven surface and the sharp (Led/Graphite) side goes against your cut piece. As the eraser faced pencil follows the line of the uneven surface the drawing pencil will trace that pattern on to your piece to be cut. Saw Norm Abrams do it on TV once - it is the 20 cent solution to the 10 dollar question. For a Quick and Easy way to do it without a full tool box it is the way to go.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/26/2005 04:00:00 PM  

  • I was wondering how to do that the other day as well, but we didn't need the wood to fit perfectly, so we just cut a little bit off. I hope the respirator saves your lungs on the next project!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/27/2005 09:23:00 AM  

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